I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
