I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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