so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
