I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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