Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You are the jesus of drinking
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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