actually, I'm a sock model
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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