dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
