So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
