He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Enjoy the penises
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
