brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
