So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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