I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
