Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
