it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
