he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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