I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize