I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
