I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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