I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
