I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
