But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
