Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
