Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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