i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
