yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dick very happy bro
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
