She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
