chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize