just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
