Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize