yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
