Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
