She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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