Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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