If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize