Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
