I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize