i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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