Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
