C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
