do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
