Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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