you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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