So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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