are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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