dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
