I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
