There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
