Just cropdusted the office
that's an acceptable place to lick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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