This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
