my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize