i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
