You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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