I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
