your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
should my penis look like a turkey
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
