from now on my penis is your penis
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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