the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
