I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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