butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
