Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
