somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
